Sexual Positions

Doggy? Cowgirl? Missionary? The Wheelbarrow? Whatever your preference, there is probably a position for it. And thanks to things like the Kama Sutra and other publications, we have a name for nearly all of them. Hell, there is even an iPhone app for sexual positions! Never does one have to worry about not being able to describe or explain some kinky way to give a girl pleasure in the bedroom.

Personally, I like to have a little fun with sex too. Doing it the same old way every time can get boring. So I have certainly explored multiple different ways to pleasure a lady, and different positions is certainly one way to spice things up. I am not the most acrobatic person in the world though, so I do have to draw the line at some point on some of these positions. And besides, if it gets too complicated, let’s be honest, it isn’t really fun anymore, and certainly can kill a lustful mood. You want to have something that feels good for both of you, keeps the passion going, and gets you all hot and sweaty, aching for more. Read more [+]

Birthday Sex

Much has been written about Birthday Sex, including on this site. But why do we attach such a great amount of importance to it? Is it because as we get older we want to continue to prove that we are still capable? That, for men at least, we are still virile? Or is it that we just want sex whenever we can get it, and a birthday is yet another reason to do it? Don’t get me wrong, I love sex, and birthday sex is great. Whether I am getting or giving, I always have a great time. But again I ask, why do so many people place such a significance on sex on a birthday?

I asked a couple of my friends to see if they had any ideas on the matter. One of my guy friends told me, in typical guy fashion, “Well yeah John, it’s just another great way to get her into bed. And she can’t argue with you!” After being momentarily insulted by his brashness, I thought about the simplicity of what he was saying. For most guys, it is, simply about getting some. And if this is another way to do it, perhaps he had a point. I asked another guy friend of mine who told me that he saw birthday sex as no different from holiday sex, or Valentine’s Day sex, or “insert name of event here” sex. He thought it was all a bunch of bullshit and that if you really want to have sex, you shouldn’t need an excuse like a holiday or a birthday to do it. I found myself unable to argue with his logic either. So I decided to ask a female friend of mine as well. She looked at me kind of funny and then realizing that I was trying to be serious she put her hand on my shoulder and said, “Ok, so first you have to understand that I am not like most women. But what I will tell you is that it’s completely different for women than for men.” When I asked her to explain, she told me that for most of the women she knows, sex on a “special” day is more about the emotional piece of it, more about making someone happy; or if it is the woman’s birthday, about maybe getting a little something extra out of it too. She went on to say that for her personally, since she likes to have fun in the bedroom, she also uses it as an excuse to liven things up.

So, what conclusions have I drawn from this? Well, to be fair, I am not sure. At first it seems like perhaps it’s just an excuse to have sex, or for someone who doesn’t have it that often, perhaps a reason to get some. And for women, perhaps a reason to get a little adventurous or to please their lover. Perhaps all of the above are valid, and it really doesn’t matter. I guess one way to look at it is this – If you aren’t getting any on a regular basis and this will help, more power to you. If you are getting some with regularity and this helps to improve that, all the better!

So what do you think? Is there something special about birthday sex?


What do you normally wear every day? Is it jeans and a t-shirt or a suit and tie, or for the ladies, a dress or a tank top and shorts? My guess is that for most of us, we vary our attire, but we still have some sort of a “regular” set of attire that we wear, especially when going to work. And then perhaps it varies a bit for the evenings and weekends. I, for example, have a certain set of clothes I wear during the week to take care of business (usually a suit and tie), and then some more relaxing clothes that I generally wear on the weekends and evenings. But my point in writing this is not to figure out what you wear. Unless you are Kristen, and standing in front of me, then I want to know so that when it’s time to take it off, I will know how! Read more [+]

Orgies – What Goes On In Your Neighborhood?

So I have had occasion to watch a few movies lately, perhaps not the best cinematic creations in the world, but entertaining and fun none the less. In more than one of these films (and I am talking mainstream stuff here, not porn) there has been either the suggestion of, or the downright depiction of an orgy. But not just some random thing that happened one night in college or during Spring Break. In both the films, it showed it as a “routine” thing that occurred amongst the members of a certain community right there in the neighborhood. Yeah, that’s right, like a Neighborhood Block Party or something! So, it got me to thinking, can this really happen? Are there neighborhoods out there where the weekly gathering of the neighbors is an orgy?? Or is this just another Hollywood fantasy come to life on the screen?

As I thought about it some more, there were lots of questions and considerations to go into this inquiry. First, given the incredibly Puritanical nature of most of the people in our country these days, it made it hard for me to believe that this kind of thing could happen very often. Most people on a certain end of the socio-political spectrum who won’t be named (but it begins with an “R”) seem to frown egregiously on this sort of thing (at least publicly, we all know a few politicians who have been caught in the act), and I would imagine that there are a good percentage of people who truly think it’s a bad thing. (I also imagine these people are not the same people who regularly read this webpage.) So, given the strongly puerile attitudes of a large portion of the country, I thought to myself, it can’t really be that there are too many neighborhoods out there that are having these little gatherings. And I have spent a fair amount of time in what is called the “Bible Belt” in this country, and on the surface it would make me think that there can’t possibly be folks out there who would want to engage in this type of activity regularly. Hell, in some places they frown upon a public kiss, let alone a frackin’ orgy! Read more [+]

Don’t Take For Granted

This month I would like to take a small change in what will normally be a column about all things sex. I know you all come to this site to see and read about it, but I feel very strongly that I need to write this instead. Next month I will return to the normal, I promise.

Do you have people in your life that you care about? People who are truly a key part of your life? Or whom you rely on for one thing or another? Or who you just really enjoy their company? Family? Friends? Significant Others? I know that not everyone has a good relationship with their families or perhaps don’t have a lot of friends. So I am not going to assume that it is one or another type of person for each of you. But I truly hope the answer is yes for all of you. I think everyone deserves at least one other person in their lives like that. And working on the assumption that each of you has at least one “someone special” I describe, I want you to keep that person in mind as you read this.

When you are with that person, do they make you feel safe or warm or loved? Do they make you feel like you belong or are a part of a team or group? How does that affect you? Do you like that feeling? I am going to go out on a limb here and say that you do. And I say that because I know I do. I have been very lucky in my own life to have several people who I would put in this category – family and friends. But recently I have suffered the loss of a few to whom I was very close. And that is the reason I am writing this today. Read more [+]